The Bamboo Gods Project: D'Wild Wild Weng (1982)

1982 - D’Wild Wild Weng (Liliw Films International)

[Release date 25th March 1982; released in South Africa as “Wild Wild Weng”]

Director/Stunt Director Eddie Nicart Story Cora Ridon Caballes Screenplay Cora Ridon Caballes, [uncredited] Eddie Nicart, Bonnie Paredes Executive Producer Peter M. Caballes, [uncredited] Cora Ridon Caballes Cinematography Bhal Dauz Music Pablo Vergara Editor Edgardo "Boy" Vinarao Sound Effects Rodel Capule, Lando Capule Field Soundman Ruben Gultiano Production Manager Tino Veluya Assistant Director Mando Pangilinan Routine Instructors Oscar Reyes, Mando Pangilinan Makeup Artist Baby Gonzales Props/Setting Jaime Dionio, Eddie Caster, Bobby Caballes, Rod Reyes Assistant Cameraman Andres dela Paz Schedule Master Bobby Caballes Assistant Editors Isagani Cells, Danny Gloria Stills Ricky Diaz Sales Manager Rene Pascual

Cast Weng Weng (Mr Weng), Yehlen Catral (Elsa), Nina Sara (Clara), Max Alvarado (Lupo the Mute), Max Laurel (Gordon), Romy Diaz (Senor Sebastian), Ernie Ortega (Ku Manchu), Robert Miller (Gaspar), Rene Romero (Acosta), Ike Lozada (Grateful Villager), Dencio Padilla (Mr Dencio, Clara’s Father), Joe Cunanan (Villager on Ground), Jay Grama (Senor Sebastian's Henchman), Gil Bandong, Nelson Armiza, Ray Albella, Lito Navarro, Fred Esplana (Senor Sebastian's Henchman), Alex Pascual, Lito de Guzman, Rio Esguerra, Domeng Reyes, SOS Daredevils, Goliath (Apo Lawin the Indian Chief), Erning Reyes, Brando Navarro, [?????????] Fullosa, Gody Pacrem, Arthur Liobon, Rey Valenzuela, Ben Sanchez, Elpidio Navillon, Bert Gamboa, Ernie Gubaton, Thumblers, Lawin Stuntman, Barusio Stuntman, Porso Boys, D’Professional Stuntman, [uncredited] Oscar Reyes (Running Villager), Jimmy Reyes (Goon in Cowboy Hat), Jimmy Labarro, Mando Pangilinan (Armando the Concerned Villager), Usman Hassim (Senor Sebastian's Goon), Mel Arca (Senor Sebastian's Goon)

COMEDY/KUNG FU/WESTERN

Review and Eddie Nicart and sales agent John Kater interviews by Andrew Leavold

[Previously published in Leavold's book The Search For Weng Weng (2017); Leavold's interview with star Yehlen Catral is HERE]

The Caballes were quick to bankroll a follow-up feature, this time another Western, called D’Wild Wild Weng (1982). Quickly dubbed in time for the 1982 American Film Market, the film, from a screenplay by Eddie Nicart and Bonnie Paredes, a Times Journal reporter who also worked on the For Y'ur Height Only script, is the most obscure of Weng Weng’s three English-language films, and outside of micro-releases on Lebanese and South African VHS, I'm yet to find evidence of any other international releases anywhere, either theatrically or on VHS. In fact its existence only became known once it surfaced as a grey-market VCD in 2007 after two and a half decades of complete anonymity, and even now is often mistaken for Da Best In Da West, and vice versa. Personally I find it hard to believe there are TWO Filipino midget Westerns, and this version with everyone in Mexican mustaches and sombreros! Yehlen Catral plays Elsa the barmaid, Romy Diaz is note-perfect with mestizo superiority as the corrupt governor Sebastian, Max Alvarado takes a turn at playing a sympathetic non-Goon character as the mute Lupo, and Nina Sara is Weng’s love interest Clara. It’s no coincidence that all four actors ALSO worked on Da Best In Da West, considering producer Pete Caballes scored one of the many gratuitous cameos, was good friends with Dolphy, and secured Weng Weng roles in three of Dolphy’s films. In a vain attempt to capture Dolphy’s box office success, you can almost picture Caballes on the set of Da Best... with a huge butterfly net and box of pins.

D’Wild Wild Weng is not strictly speaking an Agent 00 film, as Weng Weng trades in his characteristic white suit for a tiny waist coat and ruffled shirt (incognito, you understand). He is only ever referred to as “Mister Weng” or “Mr Wang”, depending on how hungover the guy in the dubbing booth was. He does, however, strip down to karate pants to do some suave martial art moves and, once the sight of Weng without a shirt becomes too much, dons the familiar white attire AND blue paratrooper duds for target practice, just in case you’ve forgotten what he’s capable of.

Silhouetted against the opening Spaghetti Western credits and Pablo Vergara’s jaunty mariachi score, government agents “Mr Weng” and his mountainous sidekick Gordon - who, played by former FPJ bodyguard and future Zuma star Max Laurel, is more than twice the size of Weng - head to Santa Monica to investigate the slaying of the Mayor and his family. They find the Mayor’s caretaker Lupo has had his tongue cut out (Max Alvarado grunts and squeals and pulls faces, but under his Chinese villain mustache we can still see his tongue!) and the evil governor Senor Sebastian in control, along with his henchmen (our drinking buddy Robert Miller, and For Y'ur Height Only’s Rene Romero) and the familiar faces of the SOS Daredevils as Sebastian’s army of Goons, decked out in uniform sombreros and gunbelts. Villages are burnt, townsfolk are lynched, goats and chickens are confused. These are desperate times indeed.

Weng and Gordon rescue kindly villagers Mr Dencio and his daughter Clara, who warn them of Sebastian’s terrible ways. Later, sensing an opening, Weng tunelessly serenades Clara outside her window with Gordon on guitar and Lupo squealing harmonies; it’s a direct steal from Dolphy’s hopeless attempt at seduction in Da Best In Da West, in which Weng strums a guitar as big as he is. Less than a minute later they discover the family has been kidnapped - by ninjas, no less! - and are tied to X-shaped crosses by Sebastian’s samurai sword-wielding associate Ku Manchu (Ernie Ortega). Weng helps them escape, but is later captured himself, spread-eagled between four posts with his shirt more than a little ruffled.

As always, Weng’s stature is the main source of amusement - from being carried around in a sack on Gordon’s back, to stealing bananas from under a table, to Gordon launching him like a coconut at Sebastian’s balcony. It’s as if a performing monkey had its cigar taken away and was cross-bred with Arnold from Diff’rent Strokes, then dressed in a set of Tijuana pyjamas. At one point Gordon rescues Weng from his cell by dressing as a monk, while Weng crawls under his cowl and clings - fetal style - to his belly, before hanging down like Max Laurel’s third leg. Shudder. He then slides across the floor, in vintage 00 mode, through a goon’s legs and karate chops their hamstrings, and does a bionic leap from a sixth-story church tower into Gordon’s waiting jeep. "That was also quite high," remembered Eddie of the late 17th Century church in Baras, rural Rizal province. "That was in the third, or fourth floor…and the landing space is full of cartons. Before, in America, it was duffel bags - here, it was just cartons with a mat. With Weng Weng, just 20 pieces of cartons and one mat is okay for him already. He’s okay with that, because he’s so small, and so he won’t sink. Even just one layer of a pack of cigarettes is okay for him already."

Eddie shot D’Wild Wild Weng fast and on a threadbare budget, mainly around the familiar FPJ and Lito Lapid western landscapes of Satum Bato and Porac in Pampanga province. According to Eddie, it was a five-man crew: himself, Mando, Oca, another guy, and photographer. “When we arrived in Pampanga, we checked-in in a hotel, just one room for us staff. The late Romy Diaz was one of my guests. In just one week, the shoot was almost finished, just in the desert.”

After the gruelling Pampanga schedule, the production shot a few location sequences in Panay, Rizal, then moved to Manila for Senor Sebastian's mansion an old Spanish-era house on Balete Drive in Quezon City, often used for movie shoots; the church interiors were in the old Fort Bonifacio buildings in Intramuros. “The shoot was just a little over a week. Ten days. The budget was really small. Imagine, you do not have to pay anyone, because you do not have big stars. The only known actor there was Romy Diaz, may his soul rest in peace. The rest were all unknown. And us, we did not expect to be paid. It was just okay with us.”

There are very few gadgets in the Wild West other than a Gatling Gun, even bigger than Weng Weng, mounted on the back of an old Volkswagon converted by Eddie into a war wagon for the big finale. And what an ending: Mr Weng, Gordon and Lupo face-off against a veritable army of Goons.

Mr Weng: “Where’s Clara?”

Gordon: “Where’s Elsa?”

Lupo: “Bla bla bla bla? Huh?”

On the signal, Weng cranks the rattling Gatling’s handle as fast as his little arm can, mowing down wave after wave of “Mexicans” in slow motion (recalling the best moments of Sam Peckinpah’s D’Wild Bunch [1969]). As with the ending of For Y'ur Height Only, the same fifteen stuntmen are "killed" over and over again, alternating between sombreros and ninja hoods. Stage left, a tribe of pygmy Indians - you ready correctly, Hobbit House waiters in red-face and warpaint, led by Mr Giant himself, Goliath - launch a counter-attack with bows and arrows amidst a sea of explosions. Oh, and let’s not forget the ninjas. It’s one of the most insane Filipino B-endings, a micro-Apocalypse Now and a dadaist triumph for Nicart’s merry band of pranksters.

Eddie was philosophical about the film’s relative obscurity. “I think D'Wild Wild Weng is not like For Y'ur Height [Only], because it had a different concept. We even bought a car, a small one, a Volkswagen, for Weng Weng. That was what was used in the desert…. But it did not [go] boom as much. Because the [charm] of For Y'ur Height [Only] was really different, he was a solo lead there. In D'Wild Wild Weng, he had co-stars. But it did not flop that much, because it did not have a lot of budget to begin with. If ever it earned a bit, then it would have covered the cost. But I do not know if it was sold abroad.”

John Kater was present at Magnatech Omni studios in Quezon City with his friend, dubbing supervisor Jesse Ramos, as D'Wild Wild Weng was being prepared for international release. During the Eighties and Nineties, Magnatech Omni was THE most utilized post-production house in the Philippines. Closed long ago, all that remains is the anonymous building front opposite popular goon drinking spot Ihaw Balot, itself a stone's throw from the Film Academy building, Tropical Hut and National Book Store. "The first time I saw a Weng Weng film being dubbed into English, it was absolutely horrifying to some degree, coming from England. I'm there in the projection room, and there's one loop of film which is going round and round, and there's one bloody loop of soundtrack that's going round and round, and they're both dragging over the floor of the projection room! So heaven knows what quality it's going to be like when they've finished…"

From the moment Weng Weng opens his mouth in D’Wild Wild Weng, you know you’re in for a wholly different experience. Gone is the breathtaking stupidity in the revoicing, with the dubbers playing the script straight, which in context makes sense: the supervisor, Jesse “Og” Ramos, former scriptwriter to Lamberto V. Avallana, award-winning documentarian, and caveman character opposite Fernando Poe Jr and Chiquito in several Lo’ Waist Gang movies. This is clearly not the person to paraphrase Humphrey Bogart and Peter Lorre. Weng Weng’s voice itself has dropped frighteningly in tone, somewhere between a cruise ship crooner and a slightly breathless Barry White. And as for the dubber who revoiced Lupo, there’s no chamber in Hell big enough to host the indignities due to befall him.

Weng Weng, Peter and Cora Caballes flew to Los Angeles in March 1982 for the American Film Market with their latest production D'Wild Wild Weng fresh from the film laboratory.

John Kater was also at the American Film Market representing Entertainment Philippines. "I can remember being with them in Los Angeles, and Cora had locked them out of the hotel suite because they were out on the town one night. This was Pete AND Weng Weng! He managed to get the door open but the chain was on. He and Weng Weng were trying to unscrew the chain between them!"

I asked John how successful the AFM trip was. "Medium successful. Weng Weng was successful. The Filipino films, even the really good ones, were a much more difficult sale. Weng wasn't the normal kind of picture that one was selling from the Philippines. You could divide the Philippine pictures at that time into two. You've got the pictures that told the story, and you've got the action films. And Weng Weng was exceptional, because he was an action picture and he was a commercial picture. A lot of the other films like the Lino Brocka pictures and these Ishmael Bernal pictures, would go to art theatres. It's another culture. And if you look at film sales around the world, you can sell a film to West Africa where they speak English - supposedly - but they have difficulty understanding it. So what you want is a film that they can see what's happening up on the screen. And Weng Weng was like that - Weng Weng had a sense of humour. And that was a saleable picture. It wasn't a top-of-the-line picture or anything like that, but it gained its followers."

You do remember them selling to some obscure territories? "Oh yeah. They were the kind of pictures that would go very well in places like Germany, Italy… The Middle East would love that kind of picture. It sold pretty widely. This was also the era of video, Betamax tapes. Video was also a market - it was a secondary market, but it was important."